That's Mr. Faggot to You: Further Trials from My Queer Life - Softcover

Michael Thomas Ford garnered lots of laughs in 1998 with Alec Baldwin Doesn't Love Me and Other Trials from My Queer Life. The follow-up collection of pieces from his syndicated column, That's Mr. Faggot to You, continues Ford's exploration of contemporary gay life. In the title essay, reports of a teenager who successfully sued his school district for failing to prevent physical and mental abuse by his classmates prompts Ford to recall his own traumatic high school experiences and leads him to recognize that, years later, "he is happier, more successful, and a great deal more attractive" than his classmates. In other essays, he discusses the you-and-me-against-the-world relationship he has with his black Labrador, proposes a new line of Christian-friendly action figures (including a Jonah and the Whale Play Set, "appropriate for bath-time use or fun in the pool"), and even manages, despite his uncertainties, to offer an adolescent nephew dating advice (concluding that "guy problems were guy problems, regardless of who the person creating the dilemma was or how many holes she or he had"). That's Mr. Faggot to You is a humorous slice of contemporary gay life that's bound at least to elicit a smile from any reader.

Cranky, bemused and extremely funny, Ford (Alec Baldwin Doesn't Love Me) is brilliant even on potentially mundane topics like high school reunions ("Michael Thomas Ford is very proud to announce that he is still queer... [and] happier, more successful, and a great deal more attractive" than his former schoolmates) and the giving of advice to his 12-year-old nephew about girlfriends (it wasn't so bad, once he mentally substituted Roberto and Jesse for Amber and Megan in the junior-high love triangle). Ford is peeved at a number of people, including Baptists boycotting Ellen, a certain senator from North Carolina and former ACT-UP leaders who now want gay men and women to be "just like everybody else." Ford admits, "I had a vague notion that to be just like everybody else was to no longer exist. But secretly I was glad I could stop wearing my earring." He has love in his heart, too, for Wynonna Judd, for instanceA"Yes, it's true. I want to have big jouncing breasts and masses of thick red hair. I want full, pouty lips that curl up in an Elvis sneer. I want to caress my guitar while thousands of lesbians squeal in delight and wet their cheap vinyl seats as they watch me totter across the stage in tight cowboy boots. I can't help it." He also champions "Dawgs" ("the blue-collar citizens of the canine world") against joggers, picnickers and other obstacles. "I'll tell you what," he says to an overprotective parent. "If he bites her, you can have him shot. And if your little girl bites him, I'll have her shot." Not for the faint-hearted, or fans of Jesse Helms, this collection achieves the feel of a down-and-dirty dish session with a very amusing friend.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.