Movie Stars Do the Dumbest Things - Softcover

Margaret Moser is the senior editor of the Austin Chronicle and director of Austin Music Awards.

Bill Crawford, a pop-culture journalist, is the co-author of Stevie Ray Vaughan: Caught in the Crossfire. Both live in Austin, Texas.

Michael Bertin is a freelance writer. He lives in Los Angeles.

We have chosen the dumbest of the dumb items from the book and listed them below. Look for the full details of the dumbest incidents—marked with a dumbest icon—in the appropriate chapters of this book. Think you know something dumber? Contact us at www.dumbest.com.

Movie Stars Do the Dumbest
Things with Animals

1. Johnny Depp and his love for animals

2. Jim Carrey and his doggy massage

3. Errol Flynn and his pooch

4. Brigitte Bardot and her mynah defense

5. Drew Barrymore’s kitty ashes

6. Burt Reynolds and deer hunting

7. Marilyn Monroe and pooch poo

8. Marlon Brando’s electric eels

9. Joan Collins and the fur-loving tiger

10. Bruce Willis and the smashed chickens

Movie Stars Do the Dumbest
Things with Drugs

1. Robert Downey Jr. and the Goldilocks incident

2. Liza Minnelli and Skylab

3. Oliver Stone and “smart drugs”

4. Dennis Hopper and the Mexican film set

5. Sharon Stone and the spoon

6. Marlene Dietrich’s Las Vegas act

7. Peter Lawford at the Betty Ford Clinic

8. Bette Midler’s New Year’s party favors

9. Jack Nicholson and the campfire scene

10. Elizabeth Taylor’s doctor’s orders

Movie Stars Do the Dumbest
Things with Food

1. Marlon Brando’s pants

2. Divine’s doo doo

3. Mae West’s cleansing diet

4. Jane Fonda’s first diet

5. Keanu Reeves’s Buddha diet

6. Leonardo DiCaprio’s food fight

7. Bette Midler’s food fight

8. Marilyn Monroe’s spaghetti bra

9. River Phoenix’s crab consciousness

10. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s muscle builder

Movie Stars Do the Dumbest
Things with Words

1. Jim Carrey and his butt talk

2. Burt Reynolds on morality

3. Mia Farrow in the courtroom

4. Joan Crawford’s privates

5. Errol Flynn and dot dot dot

6. Elvis and the yoga ballad

7. Brigitte Bardot and the Russians

8. Charlie Chaplin and his member

9. Marlon Brando and his shoe cues

10. Liza Minnelli and the sound of silence

Movie Stars Do the Dumbest
Things to Each Other

1. Pamela Anderson Lee and Tommy’s home videos

2. Mia Farrow and Woody Allen’s Polaroids

3. Cher and Gregg Allman’s last meal

4. Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fisher and…

5. Ted Danson roasting Whoopi Goldberg

6. Sean Penn and Madonna, his prisoner of love

7. Dean Martin awarding Sammy Davis Jr. to Old Blue Eyes

8. Oliver Stone partying with Cameron Diaz

9. Don Johnson’s young romance with Melanie Griffith

10. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore sharing a family meal

Movie Stars Do the Dumbest
Things to Themselves

1. Charlie Chaplin and the liquid prophylactic

2. Bette Davis and cigarettes

3. Sammy Davis Jr. and his cologne

4. Clint Eastwood’s hair

5. Jean Harlow’s drowning husband

6. James Dean, the ashtray

7. Marlene Dietrich’s dental design

8. Errol Flynn and his cocaine application

9. Jack Nicholson and the full stinger

10. Burt Reynolds and the dummy

Movie Stars Do the Dumbest Things with
Girlfriends/Boyfriends/Others

1. Marlon Brando’s abortion party

2. Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson share the goods

3. Joan Crawford and her maid

4. Richard Burton and his socks

5. Peter Lawford and his Acujack

6. Eddie Murphy and the cross-dresser

7. Hugh Grant and Divine Brown

8. Producer Robert Evans and the barfing prostitute

9. Pamela Anderson Lee and her boy toys

10. Jean Harlow and her pick-up date

Movie Stars Do the Dumbest
Things with Money

1. Charlie Sheen and Heidi’s girls

2. Kim Basinger and Kimwood

3. Bruce Willis and his screwball ideas

4. Demi Moore’s doll house

5. Judy Garland and her bag of money

6. Mickey Rooney’s Weenie Whirl

7. Jayne Mansfield’s pink palace

8. Dean Martin’s percentages

9. Frank Sinatra’s eighty-eight martinis

10. Burt Reynolds and his fire retardant hair

Move Stars Do the Dumbest
Things with Politics

1. Jane Fonda smiling in North Vietnam

2. Warren Beatty on communism and boredom

3. Sammy Davis Jr. and his love for Nixon

4. Peter Lawford on board Air Force One

5. Frank Sinatra and the speaker of the house

6. Frank Sinatra and JFK

7. Marilyn Monroe and JFK

8. Brigitte Bardot in Greece

9. Barbra Streisand at President Clinton’s inauguration

10. Spike Lee’s spiky observations

The Dumbest Movie Stars of All Time

1. Marlon Brando

2. Elizabeth Taylor

3. Dennis Hopper

4. Frank Sinatra

5. Cher

6. Marilyn Monroe

7. Elvis Presley

8. Errol Flynn

9. Barbra Streisand

10. Burt Reynolds

MOVIE STARS DO THE DUMBEST THINGS Copyright © 1999 by Margaret Moser and Bill Crawford