3650 Jokes, Puns & Riddles - Hardcover

Customer: Waiter, what's this insect in my soup?

Waiter: How should I know? I'm a waiter, not an entomologist!

With chapters on everything from Modern Romance, the Working World and Aging to Pop Culture, Money, Music and much, much more. 3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles contains the most ridiculous quip for every conceivable occasion. There are gibes, barbs and insults, knock-knock jokes and 'How hot was it?' jokes, doctor jokes and lawyer jokes, animal jokes and family jokes, and throughout, a seemingly endless supply of bad puns--each one dumber than the last. And just when you think you've reached rock bottom, it gets hilariously worse.

What kind of monk lives in the woods? --A forest friar.

Between these covers are a staggering 3650 entries--at a joke per day, that's ten full years of comedy! Everyone's favorites are included, from the hockey game that broke out in the middle of a boxing match to the restaurant on the moon (the food's great, but there's no atmosphere). And who could forget the kilter bees of Scotland, or the custodian who liked to sweep late on Saturdays? All these and thousands more are collected in a comedic compendium of good, clean fun guaranteed not to leave a single knee unslapped.

Last night my daughter's school orchestra played Beethoven...Beethoven lost.

Sure, some are stupid. Others are downright dumb. But in all their foolishness their utterly irresistible--and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand why Mrs. Mosquito needed a vacation. (Her kids were driving her gnats.)

3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles proves humankind's enduring capacity to laugh at anything involving wisecracking waiters or meddling mothers-in-law, and will have you chuckling and chortling, giggling, grinning and groaning in spite of yourself.

ZANY. WACKY. DUMB. HILARIOUS.

A QUIP FOR EVERY OCCASION. A PUN FOR EVERY PREDICAMENT.

A KNEE-SLAPPER FOR EVERY COMEDY NEED.

Crime victim: Oh, please don't take my wedding ring. It has only sentimental value.

Robber: That's okay. I'm a sentimental guy.

What's an insomniac, dyslexic, agnostic? Someone who stays awake all night wondering if there's a dog.

Psychiatry has helped me tremendously. Five years ago when the phone rang, I wouldn't answer it...today I answer it whether it rings or not.

What did one cabinetmaker say to the other?

We have to find some time for our shelves.

My husband's so dumb, he saves burned-out light bulbs to use in his darkroom.

What did the island-gobbling sea monster say? These islands aren't phillipine me up; I want samoa tahiti.

SURGEON'S SILLINESS WARNING: Dumb Jokes Are Addictive And Often Cause Fits of Uncontrollable Laughter.