Listen to Me: A Book for Women and Men about Fathers and Sons - Hardcover

This exchange of letters between father Gerald, a psychiatrist and author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear, and son Lee, a psychologist and author of Healing the Addictive Mind, provides insights into obstacles that impede affectionate, accepting father-son relations. The three major topics treated are the search for the real, as opposed to the idealized, father; the wound, inflicted on the fearful child inside all of us and exacerbated by the conventional view that the primary responsibility of men is to do rather than to be; and healing the wound, which is accomplished by ridding the self of anger, fears and shame. This is done, according to the authors, by forgiveness, i.e., reopening the past and finding a new way of looking at it with the unwavering realization that hope for a better past must be abandoned. A decision to keep those hopes alive, they maintain, is a decision to suffer. Their letters, almost painfully candid, have helped them to a better relationship and may help not only other fathers and sons, but also the women they love and who love them to a new understanding.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Gerald (Love Is Letting Go of Fear, 1988) and his son Lee (Healing the Addictive Mind, 1991) explore the emotional distances that often exist between fathers and sons and ways to heal those wounds. Through a series of letters to each other, the Jampolskys reveal the tensions nurtured over the years. Each had created a distorted picture of the other. Lee carried anger and hurt over his parents' divorce, plus was unsure how to show his feelings; to the father, Lee often appeared insensitive. Gerald harbored many fears and insecurities, always unsure if he was living up to what a man is supposed to be; to Lee, Gerald seemed overly critical and unsupportive. But with this correspondence, their relationship is rejuvenated and restored. A lucid analysis of these conflicts is presented at the end of each section. Frank and compassionate, this is must reading for men and the women who love them. Brian McCombie